What if my birthmom is unresponsive or can’t be found and what do you do?

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  • You can occasionally ask HeartConnect to reach out to them.  We will look through social media and any contacts they have given us. Each time you post something, an email goes to them inviting them to view it. Emails are generally the most permanent means of communication, though they do change them on occasion.
  • Don’t judge.  Most adoptive families will never fully understand the life challenges these women face.  
  • Be patient.  Hope they respond but never post anything that shows irritation or impatience that they aren’t responding.
  • If and when they do respond, be kind.  Indicate you are pleased they want to be connected with you and support their level of connection.  
  • If you find them on FaceBook, other social media, or in another way, we encourage you to let us know.  We are happy to help you reach out to them through whatever means work and will update their information.
  • Birthmothers sometimes need to temporarily move away from the emotionally challenging process of placing a child for adoption.  They may contact us months and years later when they are ready.
  • Some birthparents honestly want a closed adoption.  They really don’t want any contact or reminders of what has happened.  However, this happens less and less frequently.  We believe there is a value to maintaining at least some connection and encourage that where we can.  Nevertheless, we need to allow this when they choose.